The Lantern Gallery
(£2.25 shipping)
The Lantern Gallery, a collection of 11 beautifully illustrated characters from the stories within the Happy Acorn Club series of books to help introduce the 0-5 year old children to them and their stories.
Supplied as 3 x A3 and 7 x A4 prints, for you to display on the children's nursery or playroom walls, inspiring them to start using their imaginations as they begin their journey through life and everything that entails.
The Zombie at the Sandy Palms Golf Club
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The Zombie at the Sandy Palms Golf Club was inspired by personal experience of a golf club manager, who groomed every committee.
During his tenure, on two if not three occasions, some person became so irritated with the club management, oil was poured on the greens, costing £100,000 a pop to relay!
As oil was poured on the brown greens of the Middle East, I set the story in Arabia. This allowed me to feature in the story as 'Fareed bin Stitched Up', and I was!
With redoubtable imagination, a dreadful Zombie was blamed for the manager's morose love of absolute power, and with the help of General Sir Niblick Grit, the Zombie was resealed in his sarcophagus.
The Chronicles of Bruiser the Cat
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Bruiser was not my child, but he somehow acquired the same ruthless honesty as the knees. This large black tomcat arrived from the animal rescue centre, and in crossing the threshold of my home, he moved from homeless impoverishment, to a cat with aristocratic tastes. I thought he'd be a grateful refugee, but he had the critical facilities of all three of my older sisters, rolled into one. Many mature ladies love Bruiser, and look askance at me, as much to say, "why didn't you give him the smoked salmon".
The Plumtree Faith
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The Plumtree Faith was inspired by the plum tree in the garden of my newly purchased house. It was so cluttered up with surrounding trees, bushes, brambles, runners, and ivy, that it did not have room to breathe. That the builders had used the surrounding earth to hide assorted broken bricks and lumps of concrete, did not make matters better. I cut away all the foliage, and dug up the bricks, and next year it bloomed magnificently. The crop was so heavy, it broke off a branch. I resist the opportunity to claim God made the branch fall on my head. There was no such celestial prompting. I simply got fed up with a religion that was like a bad essay; an interesting start, a promising end; but nothing in the middle! My 'Pinkness' is a sublime intelligence that permeates the universe, and can be talked with as a friend.
In a nutshell, my 'God' wants us to live a happy life on Earth, and my book tells the reader to start living right here and now.
My knees are my Children
(£2.25 shipping)
My Knees are My Children', the autobiography of Frederick's chequered journey through life is written by his knee children. With the secret vantage point of being halfway up his trouser legs, strong of ligament and bathed in synovial fluid, two opinionated lumps of gristle hold forth on every aspect of his life - so far.
There is derring do, career failings, sporting incompetence, and of course romance, where the position of the joint authors gives rise to the brutal truths of bachelor existence. There is naturally much advice about parenting, and care of the human knees is taken care of by the parables of the Prophet Osteopath.